The Power of Positive Poling
Social media is powerful; if it wasn't for Facebook I wouldn't be a member of what we call the pole community. We can connect and share with polers all over the planet...and that aspect is BANGIN'! It also exposes you to a never-ending feed of peoples' frustrations with pole progress, and alarmingly, their new injuries.
I had a little sit down with myself in 2013, and I decided that I was going to continue poling for the same reason I started...because I fucking love it. I have never felt more whole, more confident, freer, and more beautiful than when I crank my body around that chrome. I decided that if I did compete, it would be because I wanted to share what I love with that audience...not because I wanted or needed to win. I spent a year or so wondering why I wasn't better...why I wasn't stronger, and so on and so forth. That mindset got me nowhere. Then I embraced exactly who I wanted to be on the pole, focused on my flow and not on my flaws. It feels good to love what you're doing.
If being "pole famous" is something you need to feel happy, excellent, but remember the reason you came back for your 2nd class. Remember that feeling you got about the simple things?! Remember when you inverted!? Holy cheese and crackers I just PUT MY ASS OVER MY HEAD!
It's easy to get caught up in the superstars of pole dance and how incredible they are, I hope every day to be like my idols too!
Nowadays I pole for positivity. I pole for joy. I pole to improve my health and wellbeing, and well, I pole because I want to, not out of obligation.
Some thoughts that helped me choose positivity:
- Use your frustration as power: learn how to harness it, laugh through it, realize that some days you will be stronger than others, and focus on the reason you're not succeeding at that move...instead of dwelling on how YOU aren't good enough.
-Realize that not every move is right for everybody: each one of our bodies are so vastly different, ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL. Ask your instructor for a variation, I promise you....they are happy to help.
-Walk away from class or training knowing that you accomplished something: even if every single attempt at everything you did that day was abysmal, GUESS WHAT? You got off the couch, got your blood pumping, stretched your limbs, and did something good for your body. Whether the end result was the shape you wanted or not, you were active and that is positive.
-Try to be a positive force in the pole community: be supportive of you fellow polers, forego jealousy for congratulations, support other styles even if they aren't for you, remember that we are all on the same team and we will always be more successful as an industry if we lift each other up instead of tearing down.
-Have real and attainable goals: prioritize the movements you can do beautifully and make them perfect and unique. Setting a goal is healthy, but not if the goal is unreachable.
It may be cliché but attitude IS contagious. Give yourself a week; make a conscious effort to look past all of the inconsequential crap.